The Good Thing About Talking to Strangers

Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. (Colossians 4:5)

Subject: Week 31 – Talking to Strangers

Hello dear ones,

It’s hard to believe only eight days have passed since my last message to you—eight days of playing nanny and guest, Space Needle diner, train passenger and mom. What a treat to be picked up at the train station by my own very tall and self-sufficient teenager (who can cut her own meat and dress herself)!

On the last Sunday of my trip to Washington, with Marco and Holly expected home in the afternoon, I decided to take their gang to church by myself.

And by some miracle, children fed and dressed, diaper bag packed, animals tended to, the four of us (little Tyson, Sadie, Mannie and me) made it to the Sunday School check-in station by 9:00 AM!

(Those of you familiar with my time management skills and directional abilities may pause for a moment of silent amazement.)

With the kids safely in the care of trained Sunday School teachers, I was free to stand alone in the sanctuary Sunday morning, singing unfamiliar songs in a room where I hadn’t even the slightest acquaintance with one soul.

And I felt like I was Home.

The sermon on prayer (of all things!) focused on Colossians 4:2-6:

“Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving; meanwhile praying also for us, that God would open to us a door for the word, to speak the mystery of Christ, for which I am also in chains, that I may make it manifest, as I ought to speak. Walk in wisdom toward those who are outside, redeeming the time. Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.”

The pastor suggested believers pray for open doors and the wisdom to share the good news in a way personally tailored to the needs of the individual.

This struck me because, in the weeks since my husband left, it seems God is opening doors for me to reach out to strangers. I had already had several interesting encounters during my Washington vacation, but the one for which I felt least equipped was yet to come.

Mid-morning on the first day of my train ride home, a young man was assigned the seat across the aisle from me. He seemed agitated and told the Amtrak employee he needed to sit alone—he had a medical condition that caused anxiety attacks when he was too crowded.

He also wore lots of spiky jewelry and several (in my opinion) scary looking tattoos.

Not knowing what else I could do to help, I prayed that God would comfort this man and arrange for him to sit wherever He chose.

I’ve sometimes wondered what effect, if any, my wifely prayers and “words of wisdom” have had on my husband’s struggle with depression. Now, in this unexpected season, I’ve begun to think the words and prayers of strangers may have a greater power to break through to his deepest needs.

So, now I find myself praying for strangers with much the same attitude that Melanie Wilkes expressed in Gone with the Wind.

(Yes, yet another life lesson from Gone with the Wind. Melanie, not knowing if her husband had survived the war, chose to treat each weary soldier in the way she hoped someone else might be helping Ashley if he were trying to get back home to her. In this way, she felt the kindness she showed to others was somehow a gift to her husband as well.)

The man didn’t get moved to a new seat and he spent most of the day with earphones on, drawing in a sketchbook. Never directing a word, or even a glance, toward me.

Then, in the early evening, he asked where I was going (the standard conversation-starter on a train) and we engaged in a bit of small talk.

Since he was holding a sketch pad, I asked if he was an artist. It turned out he was drawing tattoo designs and we got into a conversation about tattoos and the meaning of their symbols and the prejudices of the general public (me!) toward those who choose to decorate their skin in this way.

We talked into the early hours of the morning, covering the subjects of abortion, addiction, jail, divorce, rehab, being a young parent, his disappointment with God (he said he had prayed many times for a job and help for his hungry family with no answer), being raised without a father, living on the streets at 14, and other “big talk”.

I shared with him some of the ways God has been working in my life and he asked me some hard questions. I remembered the advice from Ken Poure to learn to pray with your eyes open and, as I spoke and as I listened, I silently prayed words from Colossians 4–that God would lead me so I would know how I ought to answer.

Sometime past midnight, we talked about that emptiness that never seems to be satisfied and I told him I believed it would never be fully satisfied in this temporal world because we were created for eternity. I told him about a life with a God who isn’t about rules, but about love and grace.

When we had earlier been talking about the difficulties of parenting young children, he had told me he didn’t allow his daughter to play on the other side of his apartment complex because he couldn’t hear her or see her and wouldn’t be able to help her if she were hurt or in danger. I now suggested that his daughter, who he told me rebels against this rule, probably thinks him unfair. I suggested she might think he is just trying to ruin her fun.

“Is it possible,” I asked, “that there is a God who loves us as you love your daughter? A God who sometimes behaves in ways we don’t like, simply because we don’t understand?”

Many of the questions that came up in our discussion happen* to be addressed in The Journey of Desire, a book I happened to have with me. So, at about 1:30 AM, I offered the book for him to read and I fell asleep.

We didn’t speak again until the next morning when I woke up to the last call for his stop. I noticed he was asleep and shook him awake in time for him to return my book, grab his things, and detrain (I swear that’s the term they use).

I don’t know if anything I said will have an impact on that young man. I do know I will remember some of the things he told me. (I certainly have an increased understanding of tattoo application!)

My prayer is that, if I somehow stumbled upon a few words that God meant for him to hear, the message will be repeated in other ways and places so that he will start to consider the possibility that he is dearly loved by his Creator.

Until recently, I haven’t been the kind of person to “preach” to strangers. I still don’t try to create opportunities for such encounters. I just try to remember my life is not my own. I try to be available for God’s plans for me and trust in Him to equip me for each moment.

I continue to pray God will surround my husband with His people—people who are willing to pray for a stranger—people who are willing to talk to a stranger about Love that never fails.

I know that each of you love someone who has wandered from the path that leads to joy in the Lord.

I pray that, like Melanie Wilkes, we will be brave enough to show kindness to strangers, and perhaps, somewhere, other believers will show kindness to the “strangers” we love.

Trusting in Him,

Rachel

*During my stay in Washington, I was told something I had never heard before—the Hebrew language has no word for “coincidence.” Hmmmmm.

INSPIRED BY A TRUE STORY

In late fall of 2001, Rachel Wilson, a ballroom dance teacher living in the small mountain community of Pine Lake, California, discovered her husband, Ben, in an extra-marital affair. Her initial response was much as might be expected—tears, anger, despair, thoughts of revenge and more. But, through a series of unlikely events she was led to an unexpected response – a 70-week journey of prayer with friends.

She wrote an email asking if anyone would commit to praying for her family for 70 weeks, not supposing many would agree to such a long endeavor. To her surprise, more than forty said yes.