Putting the Good in Goodbye

People don’t know how to say goodbye well these days. We let relationships fade away, or end them with painful emotional scenes. At least that seems to be the way it goes when we decide to leave a church, or a romance, or a friend. It’s right that sadness should be a part of parting, but do we have to have awkwardness, anger, and confusion?

I’d like to do things differently and I see this one small and simple way I can do so.

Today, as I begin writing this blog post, I’m thinking about the 20,762 unopened email messages sitting in my inboxes. I signed up for many of these. I wanted the free chapter or handy organization tool, or series of devotions offered by a writer whose work I appreciated. The me of yesterday wanted to read more of what they offered through weekly, monthly, or quarterly email messages. Yesterday’s me wanted to learn something, or practice something, or just curl up and read something.

The me of today, though, has way too many somethings in her inbox!

When I look at those rising unopened email numbers I’m starting to see reading as an unfinished chore. It’s looking very much like a task on my to do list. One for which I’m earning a big fat F. For a person who believes words are a gift, that just won’t do!

 

It’s time for some goodbyes.

I know when enough time passes without me opening their email messages, some of the senders will unsubscribe me themselves. That’s the fading away method, but I want to do better than that.

In the almost two years since I joined the ranks of group-email senders, I’ve come to understand that many of the email subscriptions I have as a reader are not sent by faceless corporations, but by sometimes-nervous authors who might check to see whether or not I read their carefully-crafted letter or clicked on any links therein as a sign of my interest and engagement.

I know what a boost it can be to see readers are opening their gift from me and even clicking on a link or two. Or, better yet, when readers reply to those messages to say how they’ve enjoyed or otherwise benefited from what I sent. This shows engagement that not only gives me a hint that I’m doing some good in the world. It also shows potential agents and publishers that I might be someone whose readership would benefit from wider publication of my work.

Another thing I’ve learned is when readers never even open those messages, well, it doesn’t help the writer’s work or ministry or career at all.

It can actually hurt it.

I’ve written something about this before, but this month I’m going to do something about it as a reader. And, if you’re nodding your head (or just thinking about nodding your head), I’d like to invite you to do something about it right along with me.

So, here is Part One of my two-part plan for becoming a less harried reader of email, by thoughtfully reducing the email we receive and becoming better supporters of the smaller number of writers whose writing we will get to more peacefully enjoy.

 

Seven Simple Steps

To get started, look through your unopened email and choose ten (or more) email subscriptions you’ve rarely (or never) opened in the last six months to a year. Then, apply the following steps to each one of these addresses.

 

1. Reply to the most recent email received from that person or organization, thanking them for what you’ve gained by being a    subscriber and explaining why you’re now unsubscribing. Be specific: My interests have changed, I no longer need your services, I love what you write and pray for your success, but I just don’t have time in my schedule to read it anymore, etc. This is also a good time to offer suggestions or make requests like, I’m interested in knowing when you have a book coming out, but I don’t want to receive anything unrelated to that. If you have a separate list for book news, please sign me up for that instead.                 

                                                                                                                      

2. Do an email search for all the email you’ve received from that sender and delete all but the last email to which you just replied.

 

3. Move that last correspondence into an email folder you designate as Unsubscribed. (That way, you can see which ones you’ve unsubscribed from and why, so you can easily resubscribe later if you have need of their services in a different season or want to recommend their newsletter to someone else – see #5)

 

4.  Remember to click the unsubscribe link and answer any questions that might pop up. This will help the writer better know who is and who is not in the community she or he is called to serve. This can be extremely helpful for writers who want to better understand and serve their people.

 

5. If you think of anyone who might enjoy a subscription to the email you will no longer be receiving, send that person a link along with a line or two about why you think he or she might benefit from those offerings. (What no longer suits you might just be perfect for someone else!)

 

6. To make this process quicker both now and as an ongoing habit, make a template of your thank you and goodbye message so you can easily adapt it for each email from which you unsubscribe.

 

7. Just for fun: If you decide to do this, too, I’d love to know how many subscriptions you unsubscribe from and the before and after numbers for your unopened email. Write to me and I’ll reply with a personal message letting you know my numbers, too : )

 

My prayer is that we can all be more intentional and selective in our email subscriptions, reading the good words we sign up for, and graciously saying thank you and goodbye when the time is right.

One last thing: If you are one of my subscribers and discover my twice-a-month words are in that top ten list of your unopened email, don’t hesitate to follow these steps to unsubscribe. My feelings will recover. My heart’s goal is to bring you something informative, encouraging, or delightful, not to clog up your inbox. If I’m not doing that for you, I’m sure there is someone else who can. I want your reading time to be used for those things that serve your heart, mind, and spirit well.

I look forward to learning about your progress! See you in a couple weeks for Part Two, where I’ll focus on a few simple ways we can support the writers whose words most beautifully continue to address the needs of our hearts, minds, and spirits.

P.S. In the time it took me to write this post, my unopened email number rose from 20,762 to 20,769. I’d better get to it!