Monday morning.
Blue sky, pine trees, and thinning patchy snow set the scene.
I’m the lone grandma amongst young mamas, invited here as I was by the loveliest most capable daughter-in-law anyone could pray for. There are only three of us left in the sunny parking lot, for our Monday prayer time ended promptly as promised. Just an hour. Just come and pray. After-talks are outdoor affairs and purely optional.
One mom had revealed a heavy matter today and a few of us linger to maybe help her with the heavy lifting. She’s a wise lady with scripture-laced prayers like poems that testify to frequent conversations with God. The kinds of conversations good listeners practice. So I’m not playing the role of wise old grandmother dispensing advice here, just one of the girls. The three of us wrestling together with hard and heavy matters.
It turns out this heavy thing needs attention soon. Tonight. And it’s not just something for mom to handle, but dad must be there, too. And he’s a good dad. That’s not the problem. The problem is he’s a good and busy dad. And she’s a good and busy mom. The days full of school and work, the nights full of sports and Awanas and church meetings and all manner of good things that don’t leave unbound space available for heavy conversations.
I’ve been there. I’m still there. Only the good things that fill my days and nights are different. Things more suitable to good and busy grandmas living with good and busy grandpas. But the words remain the same. Words that come now from the good and busy mom in the parking lot.
Pressure. Frustration. Exhaustion. Gratitude for all these many good things, yes, but still… Pressure. Exhaustion. Frustration. And how can it keep going on and on this way?
I say the words I’ve been practicing, lately. Share that thing I’ve been doing when I notice a particular phrase lining up for take-off in my thoughts. Lining up to fly out of my mouth. The overhead compartments bulge with a backpack of pressure, a satchel of exhaustion, a carry-on of frustration and those five little stowaway words are all set to log a few more of their frequent-flyer miles–
I don’t have enough time.
But lately I notice them. I notice those five stowaway words and I notice the lie in them. And lately I power down those engines and in the runway silence, remember the truth. On purpose. Out loud.
I do have time.
I have time enough to walk in obedience to all my Father’s will for me today.
I remember and repeat as many times as it takes to rescind I-don’t-have-time’s boarding pass and opt instead to fly the friendly skies of my Father’s love.
So I share those words I’ve been practicing and the wise young mamas share their words and the talk ends. We leave the church parking lot with our promises to pray, and I don’t know if any of our words did one bit of heavy lifting. I don’t know if my words were of any use to that pressured, frustrated exhausted mom and the conversation that needs to happen somewhere in the cracks of time her family can wriggle it into.
But the words I so boldly spoke are needed for my own half-mile homeward journey as I think about my good and busy life.
You see, I have this blog post I’ve promised to write. And a whole list of other things, too. These other things crowding my day from morning shower to bedtime reading. Pressing things that insist there’s no room for an unscheduled parking lot conversation that I, instead of hurrying along to my list of commitments waiting at home, said yes to. A yes that now invites pressure, frustration, and other tenacious old companions to my uphill trudge home barefoot in the snow (okay, a bit of exaggeration regarding the bare feet and the snow, but it is uphill).
And I remember. On purpose. Out loud.
I have time enough to walk in obedience to all my Father’s will for me today.
And I recall words from a prayer I scratched into a notebook some time ago. A prayer I need to find and remember today. A prayer I search through two shelves of journals for. And, I admit, a familiar question taunts, not as words in my head, but as tension building in my midsection.
Do I really have time for this?
And the minutes inch toward an hour until, at last, I find it.
Lord,
Teach me the yes and the no of love.
Not of guilt.
Not of shame. Or pride.
Not of fear. Or comfort.
Just love.
In every yes.
In every no.
With grateful, trusting heart,
Saying yes to where You want me to be.
Doing what You want me to do.
With attitude of heart and mind
Pleasing to You.
Fully engaged.
Fully present.
Fully committed to You.
To know You.
To trust and obey You
In every yes.
In every no.
Amen
And in this I find both words for that overdue blog post and a prayer for this parking-lot-conversation-delayed writer, too.
Perhaps, a prayer for that good and busy mom and dad. A prayer for the hard and heavy matter. Though the prayer doesn’t say where the yeses and the noes ought to land for them tonight.
However much it seems it should come first, the heavy thing might possibly be better saved for tomorrow. I don’t know.
I only know that God, who supplies all our needs according to His riches in glory gives His children time enough to walk in obedience to Him.
The trick is for us to remember.
Whatever may crowd our days and nights,
behind our every yes and our every no,
He is the why.
And He Who created time, is also the how.
Love this, Jody. So timely. Thank you!
That warms my heart, Nancy. I struggled to get it posted yesterday and couldn’t get it done. God’s timing is obviously best : )
I really needed this at this season in my life. Thank you Jody. So we’ll written!
Thank you, Marilyn. So good to hear from you. I love how God connects us : )
Jody, this was such a beautiful and poetic reminder of how natural and normal it is to simply feel human. Your way of putting this into words, and tilting our eyes to God’s love and promises, is a special gift. Thank you.
Thank you, Joanne. That means so much. Especially as I am savoring the beautiful and poetic words of The Gold in These Hills, right now. My second reading of your novel is mining even more riches for my soul than the first reading. Thank you for all the work you did to write it and make it available for people like me.
Such a wonderful reminder!
Thank you, Jody!💕
Thank you, cousin! I’m so glad you enjoyed it : )
Thank you Jody for saying “yes” to waiting for me for a walk to town…including the short cut with slippery rocks across the creek! Always an adventure! Thank you for saying “yes” when you had other important things to do. I love you and your insightful, practical blog
Aw, thanks, Mom. I’m glad I said yes to that, too : )
Thank you for these gentle words that comfort and challenge at the same time. They are a timely reminder for me to take captive those habitual thoughts that keep me from loving obedience to Christ.
Thank you, Sheri. “Gentle words that comfort and challenge at the same time.” I can’t think of a higher complement. I’m humbled to be able to do that with my words for you today as you have so often done for me with yours.
Thank you for sharing your heart, Jody. Once again, I’m so blessed by your words and I appreciate the timely encouragement here from the One who knows each of our hearts best.
Savanna, you are always such an encourager! I’m glad my words turned your heart to be encouraged are a blessing to you as yours are to me.
I have learned –or at least learned the concept in your featured quote — from you in days past. (Didn’t I quote it back to you a few weeks ago?) Feel free to return the favor by re-quoting it to me.
I love the irony in your wondering whether you had the time to search through your journals for the prayer on not succumbing to time pressures. Yvette smiles. I really like that poem and am going to share it with my friend Suzanne. She doesn’t do much on the computer so I won’t share your website, but she does love poetry and Jesus.
This is my first response to a blog on a website. Did I do it right?
Yes, Yvette, you did it right! Congratulations on your first blog post response : )
Thanks for your encouragement and for quoting that quote back to me when I need it (which is necessary much more often than I’d like).
Thanks, too, for your thoughts on sharing the poem with your poetry-loving, Jesus-loving friend.
[Jody smiles]
Time well spent Jody searching for the Poem with such a powerful reminder of what to prioritize in life. So often we are lost in the trivia and forget all His promises, distracted from the important things and focused on the worries of life. When He has told us to trust Him and ask Him for what we need we chose the distractions over our connections to Him. Praise God for the reminders to seek Him first the Word tells us and we give each other. I also love reading the comments and the back and forth conversations about life. Oh and the humor! It makes Michelle smile. Thanks Yvette for your contribution. 🙂
Thank you, Michelle! I love the back and forth comments, too! I’m so glad you joined the conversation to share your beautiful thoughts.
PS.
The pursuit for the prayer…magnificent.
Big smile : )
Absolutely beautifully written Jody.
Thank you sister.
Thank you Michele. And I’m just thinking I’m so glad you asked about lunch that day and I said yes! God is so good.